(…)”The accumulated clutter of day to day existence – the lapses of conscience, the unpaid bills, the bungled opportunities, the dust under the couch, the incapable prison of your genes – all of it is temporarily forgotten.”
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
There are three things that I hate with a passion:
– Quotes without references;
– Wasting food;
– Bash my little toe against furniture.
Glad I got it out of my chest.
We all strive to get somewhere and we’ve traced a hypothetical path in our minds. BUT, when you finally get there, you’re either too old to bother and it’s not even worth dying for, or you ask “now what?” Or “this can’t be it” – so you start scrutinising your work and thinking that something isn’t right, that you’re not that good…
But then it hit me… there are plenty of incredible things that go unseen, unheard and unshared, why do we denigrate our own? RELEVANCE IS RELATIVE! There are so many things to fight and strive for… why do we do it so hard for a pay check?
BECAUSE we need money and it’s easy to stick to what works… I’ve done it, we all have.
Coming to England was my way of “sticking to the man”, do different and move on. It was a big change in my life and if you’re not constantly challenging yourself you will stop in time.
But… Was it a quick fix? Was escaping the real world of: “No work for you after you spent all your money on a degree”, the easy way? I wasn’t trying to escape reality… I was trying to find it!! Surely there was more to life than what I was doing…
I tried to fool myself into believing I wanted to stay in Portugal, I wanted to make the difference in the country that saw me grow and turn into this fine specimen. What I really wanted was a change! So what I did was victimise myself and become an immigrant.
I didn’t know what I was signing up for… Countless times I cursed myself for coming to the UK. My patients constantly ask: “Why would you do that?”. (because I love rain and English tea, what else?!)
Nothing comes without flaws, failure or frustration. It pisses you off and tears you down, and if you’re lucky you have good friends to pick up the pieces. If not that you have to DIY the shit out of it.
In the end it’s all about looking at what you achieved, the people you touched (easy here) and the life you’re longing to get. If you leave your shell behind, hold on to your coins and work hard… It all works out in the end!
#conundrums #intothewild #liveyourlife